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Post by Clover Asher on Feb 4, 2008 23:31:10 GMT -6
It was safe to say that it looked as though winter was ending. The sun shone brightly outside and even the rooftops of Hogwarts were no longer entirely covered in pure white snow anymore. It was such a perfect day that Clover had woken up quite early; about six o’clock to be precise, to simply go for a walk outside. She had quickly changed into a white sweater and jeans and she wore her blue buttoned jacket to keep her warm.
She smiled as she walked; her hands in her pockets as she stared at the trees of the forest from a safe distance. She never had gotten over what happened there so she kept her distance from the area. Moving carefully as to not slip, she sat in the snow and laid down, staring up at the sky. It was the perfect colour of a very light purple from the night glow.
She didn’t have much of a thought on her mind right now which was strange. She and Jude hadn’t spoken in a while and it had been quite hard. Things still seemed to eat her up inside over what had happened and she had been avoiding people a lot, especially Chris. She hated being upset around him as it made him upset in turn. To sum things up; she had not spoken to Chris in an entire week.
She shifted a bit on the ground and found a comfortable spot a few feet away from the forest with the sun glowing on her face. She shut her eyes, really enjoying her time outside right now. It was so perfect. There was a perfect breeze outside and the solitude of the moment was quite welcoming for her.
Her hair was tied up and it had not been like that for a while so it was hard to recognize her at first. She wondered how Chris was doing. She had been coming back lately to the Common Room very late, past curfew times as she had been walking outside so much.
Whenever she went back, she always made sure that Chris wasn’t there; she couldn’t handle him questioning her. She lately only saw his paternal side where he was protective of her. But truly, now to think of it, she didn’t really know if there was a time where he wasn’t like that.
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Post by Stockmon on Feb 5, 2008 22:06:06 GMT -6
Chris felt weary. Clover wasn’t around. She was avoiding him, he was certain. And it was getting to him. Why must she avoid him? If she wanted him to stop acting like an older brother… well he couldn’t help her. But why must she get upset with him for doing what he was supposed to do? Sure, his brotherly attributes had been magnified thanks to her constant illness and their lack of parents. But honestly, couldn’t she just appreciate it? He supposed not.
He was up early. Very early. He wasn’t one for rising early. But Casey was one for being overly adept in judging his mood, and he wasn’t ready for a repeat of the night before. Casey wasn’t one for asking constant questions… unless he worried. And he’d been worried lately. He crept out of bed. It was plausible that Casey had woken up, and was just being polite, but Chris didn’t feel like chancing it. He grabbed his jeans and pulled them on, along with a coat. He didn’t care if the weather was nice at this point, he was used to being prepared, and he wasn’t about to chance a blizzard without a coat. Really.
He made his way throat the corridors, walking past the library just for the sake of it. He liked that place. None of the books hurt you. Unless thrown at you, like a certain boy had done when Chris was younger. He growled at the memory. And the books let you escape. You could pick the setting you wanted, and just read. Even non fiction, reading about something other than yourself was a great escape, and a boy like Chris needed a lot of those. Though he’d never admit to it.
He made his way outside, the sunlight hitting his eyes in an unpleasant way. But he blinked a bit and hit the grounds. On his way to the lake, he spotted a girl, laying on the ground. She was hard to recognize, so he approached slowly and silently. But when he got close enough he knew it was Clover. Grinning for no reason he approached without a sound. When he was a few feet away, he plopped down next to her.
“Hi.” He said brightly. He had no idea how his mood had just swung, but it was nice to see her sister again, at least.
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Post by Clover Asher on Feb 5, 2008 22:34:28 GMT -6
She relaxed a lot as she let the sun remain on her face, the warm golden rays very soothing; almost theraputic. Soon enough, her trance was broken when she felt someone plop down beside her. She was confused as to who would be awake this early in the morning and who would know she was outside.
“Hi.” The voice had said brightly. She recognized the voice of her older brother almost instantly and she opened her eyes, tilting her head to look at him slightly. "Hi." She said. She wasn't speaking to him the same way she usually did.
Her voice sounded really quiet and shy. It was the way she spoke to when she met new people- strangers. It was as if the two had not spoken in so long that they were strangers. It was very strange right now. She slowly laid back down, this time her eyes were open and she was staring straight up at the sky.
She was laying down, her head against Chris' legs a bit. She wasn't really comfortable with the way things were at this very moment. He was smiling but she knew he must be wondering why she hadn't spoken to him. But it wasn't only him, she had not spoken to anyone. In fact, she had even been skipping her classes quite a bit. It had gotten to the point that two of Clover's teachers had actually told Chris and were concerned.
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Post by Stockmon on Feb 5, 2008 22:48:36 GMT -6
“Hi.” Was all Chris got. He frowned. Wasn’t he supposed to be the upset and unhappy one? She was the cheerful, let’s go one. Things had switched. She sounded quiet and shy, he didn’t like it. He had no problem with it usually, but when they weren’t on the best terms… he didn’t like it.
He should probably be questioning her, but she looked unhappy. She lay her head against his leg and looked at the sky. He zoned out, thinking of what he should be saying. He should be telling her not to skip classes; he should be asking what was wrong. But he felt put out. He felt like she didn’t even want him there. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling. She was the reason he motivated himself. He worked hard to take care of her, and she didn’t seem to want him around at that point. She hadn’t even been attending class.
Well if she wanted to keep him in the dark, so be it. He wasn’t in the mood to ask questions. He wasn’t the kind of person to be nice about it either, so he didn’t want to push his luck. It was as if she was trying to hide something from him, and he wasn’t awake enough to guess at it. He would go for the worst things, if he were to try right then. But he didn’t want to alienate her. So if she didn’t want to accept her gay mood, he’d give her his melancholy one. He closed his eyes and leaned into his palms, letting memories flash past him. He really hadn’t gotten that snowball fight they’d been planning, probably because of her becoming so distant.
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Post by Clover Asher on Feb 5, 2008 23:00:20 GMT -6
She sat there silently for a bit and eventually shut her eyes, she sighed out tiredly. Nothing was really being said or done and eventually, she sat up. She pushed herself up and then stood up, not even looking at him, “I-I’ll see you later...” She said uncomfortably and turned, walking towards the lake. She had her head down and her hands in pockets.
She didn’t know why she felt the way she did. She just felt so miserable all the time now. Everything seemed to bring her down constantly and the usual things that made her smile, such as being around her brother, seemed to not help whatsoever.
Clover kept walking, her footsteps imprinting in the snow behind her. She didn’t even walk with that spring in her step like she always did but she now walked as though she had been running for hours and she was completely exhausted now.
It was like she wasn’t even herself. The strange part was that she looked so grown up now but her soul seemed to be completely drained out. She didn’t really care about anything and as far as she was concerned, things didn’t have a purpose. It was safe to say that she was very depressed right now. She coughed a bit as she walked, shivering a little from a windy chill in the air.
She hoped that Chris would simply get up and go back to the castle, leaving her to sit by the edge of the lake until night time where she would go to her room, eat a little bit of food she kept up there, sleep, then wake up early and follow this same cycle.
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Post by Stockmon on Feb 5, 2008 23:25:12 GMT -6
Clover just stood up “I-I’ll see you later…” She said, walking over to the lake. Chris glared at the back of her head. Sure he was the melancholy one, but at least he didn’t block her out like this. He was extremely disappointed in her. But if she was this down, he’d be the one to keep trying to cheer her up, at least this morning.
He heard her cough and he looked at her worriedly. She was reminded him of Charlie a lot right then. Just down. Charlie was a genuinely happy person, always smiling. Except that brief moment when Chris had seen him frown. He didn’t know what to think of it. When they took Charlie around he’d been fighting, until he saw Chris, then he’d just grinned. It was like a defense, but Chris didn’t know it. That moment had been scary for Chris. Charlie? Frowning? Clover? Ignoring him? It made him feel the same. Worried and outcasted.
He stood up and walked in her direction. He stopped about twenty feet back. “Remember Charlie?” He asked, his voice emotionless as he spoke only loud enough for her to hear. She might have had to strain just a bit to hear him, but he didn’t care. He put his hands behind his head. He hadn’t heard from Charlie since that day, but it felt like the right time to bring him up. He seemed as if he should be more miserable than anyone, not because he had more reason, just because of what he did. But he wasn’t. It helped Chris remain where he was, watching Clover. “Well I think he’d be better at cheering you up than I am.” He said after a long pause.
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Post by Clover Asher on Feb 6, 2008 16:13:53 GMT -6
She stopped walking when she heard his footsteps reaching towards her. She didn’t want to keep walking away with him following her. “Remember Charlie?” She froze slightly. She didn’t really know him well but she remembered him a little bit. She remembered his smile quite clearly and him being very nice to her.
“Erm, a bit.” She said, turning to face him. She wasn’t too sure what her brother was getting at with this but it was worrying her a little bit. “Well I think he’d be better at cheering you up than I am.” He said after a long pause. She looked at him sadly.
She watched him and he was trying so hard to cheer her up. She bit her lip and sighed. Her mood was only bringing down her brother; this was one of the main reasons why she kept avoiding him at all costs. She took a slight step back and then stopped. No, she couldn’t keep leaving him.
Finally, she took several slow steps forward and then ran a bit. She ran up to him and hugged him tightly, shutting her eyes tightly and just listening to his breathing. He looked so tired of worry and sadness; she couldn’t handle seeing him that way. She lowered her head as she hugged him, having a clear look on her face as though she was trying to not cry. She didn’t dare speak a word and just stood there, shivering a bit still. She coughed again, not pulling from the hug.
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Post by Stockmon on Feb 7, 2008 21:14:15 GMT -6
“Erm, a bit.” Clover replied when asked about Charlie. Chris didn’t expect her to remember him that well. He had mostly been around Chris. She was looking at him now and it still reminded him of Charlie. That deer in the headlights look, sort of a searching gaze. Like when Charlie had woken up to find Chris reviving him. That had been awkward. For Charlie. Chris was too young to really grasp what was happening.
Once he said that Charlie would be better at cheering her up than he would, which he believed was true, she looked sad. He glanced at the ground. He didn’t want her to look sad. That was the opposite of his goal. All he wanted was the best for her, all the time. But half the time it seemed like even if she knew what was best for her, she was too stubborn to go after it, so he had to do the things that were unpleasant. It was his job to defy her if it meant helping her. It was a miracle he still had a good relationship with her for all the times she got mad at him for babying her.
When Chris looked up Clover was running at him, he took a small step back, in surprise, but then she hugged him. She leaned her head against his chest and he wrapped her arms around her shoulders. He wouldn’t let any other girl in the world touch him like that, probably not even his mother, because Clover was special. She was the one person on earth that he would give anything for. She shivered a bit, and coughed, but she just kept holding on.
“Are you alright, Clover?” He asked softly, sighing afterwards. He was happy to just hold his baby sister. He almost always thought of her as his baby sister. The baby. The infant incapable of taking care of herself. It was mean, and probably untrue, but it wasn’t her fault. She was sick, and neither of them could help that, or they would have by then. Chris took a few deep breaths, putting his chin on the top of her head, content to keep her close by lest she become angry with him again and run off.
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Post by Clover Asher on Feb 8, 2008 23:12:56 GMT -6
She stayed close to him, not relinquishing the hold of her hug whatsoever. She bit her lip and coughed again. “Are you alright, Clover?” He asked her softly, sighing afterwards. She breathed slowly and finally just answered him, not wanting to keep her feelings away from him right now. She was tired of being so closed up.
“I-...I’m just sad...all the time...” She whispered, her voice shaking a bit. It upset her to even speak of that and to hear her own words ringing in her ears seemed to upset her. She felt him put his chin down on her head and she sighed again, breathing in. She hugged him a little tighter now, freaked out a little. She then turned her face to look at the sky, keeping her cheek against his chest.
Chris would always see her as his baby sister, perhaps their slight height difference never helped. Clover had to stand on the tips of her toes to be at eye level with his neck. This was quite hard in times when they were fooling around and she moved to punch him; she always seemed to only hit his chin at the most. “I don’t even know what I’m sad about; all I know is that I just...am...” She said softly, as if to not say it too loud for anyone else to hear. She shut her eyes now, not knowing what his reaction was going to be to this news.
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Post by Stockmon on Feb 10, 2008 23:03:25 GMT -6
“I-… I’m just sad…” Clover said. Chris didn’t react. Sad, was she? He could relate to being sad. But the way she said it, it seemed off. And she was sad sometimes, it wasn’t as if she’d shut him out before. “all the time…” Oh. She was sad, all the time. But why? She sounded a bit shaky, and Chris held her closer. He felt her do the same.
When he felt her cheek against his chin he just stood there. She was his to guard, and he felt secure in his position. Perhaps he should have been nicer to Jude, but perhaps not. Perhaps he should have given her more space to make friends. Did he do that wrong? He really tried his best, but was it enough? Was it a hindrance? Was this his fault. He let out a shaky sigh.
“I don’t even know what I’m sad about; all I know is that I just… am…”
“Oh.” He said. He didn’t sound surprised, but he was. Could she tell? He hadn’t a clue. He wasn’t even thinking about it. What should he do? It didn’t matter. He didn’t give it any though. He kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry, Clover.” He paused, just holding her for what might have been a long time. But it felt like an instant to Chris. He just couldn’t help her enough, and he stood there, wishing silently that there was something.
“Anything… ever…” He said softly. “If you need it, I’ll help. And even if you don’t want anything… and even if you don’t want me around, Clover.” He paused again, pulling her away a bit. He looked at her eyes, “No matter where you are, I love you, and I want you to be happy.” He didn’t know if that was enough, but he pulled her back gently and hugged her some more. Waiting in case she felt like talking.
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Post by Clover Asher on Feb 13, 2008 21:47:38 GMT -6
She heard him let a shaky sigh and knew he much have been slightly uncomfortable with all of this but yet he still never let her go. She then felt him kiss the top of her head and he apologized. Why was he apologizing? He had done nothing wrong.
This was just something that Clover was going through right now. She bit her lip to the point where she could nearly feel a cut forming on her lip but she lessened the pressure quickly. She then heard him talking and she could feel his breath moving slightly against her forehead as he spoke.
“Anything… ever…” He said softly. “If you need it, I’ll help. And even if you don’t want anything… and even if you don’t want me around, Clover.” He paused again, pulling her away a bit. He looked at her eyes, “No matter where you are, I love you, and I want you to be happy.”
She looked back up at his eyes and she then shut them. She nodded, “I- I know...” She said softly. “Thank you...” It took a bit of time for her to relax and finally she composed herself and sighed deeply. She slowly pulled from his hug and she bent down and lightly placed a bit of snow on the top of his head and took a step back, a smile starting to form on her face.
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Post by Stockmon on Feb 21, 2008 19:21:32 GMT -6
“I-I know…” Clover said, nodding. Chris remained silent. He hoped she knew that. He tried his best to make sure she always knew she was safe and taken care of. Even if she wasn’t always safe, Chris tried his best, and he did fairly well. “Thank you…” She added, Chris gave a weak smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
The next thing he knew Clover had pulled back and put snow atop his head. He shook his head quickly and blinked at her smile.
“Oh, so that’s your solution?” He scoffed, smirking. Chris bent his knees and tossed some snow at Clover. A moment later Chris tossed some more at her, and then balled some up in his hands. A sloppy snowball was tossed at Clover’s stomach. “So, we never did have that snowball fight like we’d planned.” He said, glancing around at the snow covered ground. “And Jude and Christos aren’t really here…” He let his voice trail off as he visibly packed a snowball. “But I think that we can play around some anyway.” He said, tossing his snowball up in the air a few times, giving Clover a genuine smile that was rare for him at this point.
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Post by Clover Asher on Feb 24, 2008 11:39:13 GMT -6
Clover smirked as the snow hit him and he had quickly shaken his head to brush the snow off. “Oh, so that’s your solution?” She laughed and noticed him bending down to throw snow at her. She took a few steps back and turned a bit when some snow hit her.
She wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying as she noticed him continuously packing in a snowball. She watched him carefully as he tossed the snowball in the air. She was happy to see him smiling too. “Eep!” She said and hurriedly ran, trying to grab a chunk of snow at the same time.
She was finally able to grab a small chunk of snow and she turned around quickly, throwing the snow towards him but she had missed greatly. She started running a bit into the forest and she hid behind a tree quickly. She realized that she was still easily visible from his distance so she took a step back to stand against the other tree.
She reached her hands behind her to feel for the tree behind her and as she walked, she felt a little short of breath in this, as if she couldn’t breathe at all. She couldn’t feel the trees behind her. Finally, her breath came and the tree she was trying to grab for was in front of her now. She looked around confused. She had just walked through an object...She had never done this before and didn’t understand how she did it. Her eyes were slightly wide as she moved her hand in front of herself to the tree once more and she actually saw her hand pass into the tree as if she was some sort of shadow.
“C-Chris??” She called, she was scared in her voice but was terrified to death. She was just more uneasy than anything else. She read a lot and she never read anything like this happening to anyone.
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Post by Stockmon on Feb 26, 2008 22:32:18 GMT -6
Chris heard Clover laugh as he tossed snow at her. It helped him relax to hear that laughter. She didn’t laugh nearly enough, more than him, but what did that say? More than never? That wasn’t enough for anyone, not even Chris… but he didn’t say that aloud. He would never reveal his insecurities aloud, so why would he reveal his faults either? He scoffed at that and focused on his sister again.
“Eep!” Clover said, running as she grabbed some snow. Oh great, she was armed. It was only fair if he was armed and she wasn’t. But maybe he could do better about snowballs this time, it hadn’t taken him half as long for the snowball he currently had. But as he glanced at it he noticed little imperfections and was drawn to fix them, but resisted that temptation.
When he looked up again Clover had just missed him horribly with a chunk of snow, he smiled and pursued for a moment. Then she began to move into the forest to hide. He felt his jaw clench and his movement stilled for a moment.
“No, Clover.” Chris whispered. He began to take a few more steps. He hated to ruin her mood, but perhaps if he casually convinced her to keep away from the forest it wouldn’t be as bad. Even if he wanted her to traipse around the forest, there was no way he could focus, being that worried that something would happen. It was forbidden after all.
“C-Chris??” Clover called. His breath caught. She sounded terrified. Chris quickly ran over in her directly, but she was far enough in that he couldn’t find her at first.
“Clover? Where are you?” Chris called, walking cautiously in a place he’d rather never be inside again.
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Post by Clover Asher on Feb 27, 2008 0:04:32 GMT -6
Clover heard the sound of Chris' voice and she ran, following it quickly. She watched as she slipped through a tree and she panicked, her heart beating in her throat. Why was she passing through objects like that?
She finally reached him and hugged him tightly, breathing quickly. "C-Chris! What's g-going on?!" She said, frightened. She went to grab his hand and her hand slipped through his as if she was some sort of ghost.
She let out a small squeal at this and looked up at him wide-eyed. "Why am I passing through objects?" She didn't know and this was just so bizarre to see. Her mind kept flipping through all the pages of all the books she ever read.
Even the ones who had spoken of bizarre abilities never said anything like this. She gasped slightly when she pulled her hand back through Chris' arm, a cold tingling feeling through her entire arm. The warmth returned and she moved her hand to his again and felt skin against skin.
She was really worried and she hoped that her big brother had an answer to this. That he could somehow tell her that this is normal and that this has happened to him before. That he could tell her how to stop this or control it.
(I'm sorry, I had to throw in a bit of X-meness in it lol. Go Shadowcat xD)
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