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Post by bluebirdspride on Feb 20, 2007 1:09:41 GMT -6
Touma suddenly clung to Ryuichi, sobbing loudly. "I HATE YOU MORE! I HATE YOU! YOU'RE OBLIVIOUS! I HATE YOU! YOU AND YOUR BUNNY-BEAR FREAK THINGY! AND WHO CARES ABOUT COLOURS? IT'S THE MUSIC! MUSIC! YOU BEAR-BUNNY FREAK!"
--
"What's my future, Mohammad Carrie? Huh? Huh? What's my future? And will Mommy and Daddy get divorced? WILL THEY? And then the soldier can be my THIRD Daddy, including Nova's 'cos he don't got any!" Arez ranted, ignoring Carrie's awkwardness.
This is why people HATE YOU.
I don't care! I don't need people! All I need is... uh... WHATEVER IT IS I NEED!
Common sense.
Money? THANKS!
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Post by panic on Feb 20, 2007 1:19:08 GMT -6
Carrie closed his eyes and prayed mentally.
Please, dear Lord... I don't ask you for much... Well, 'cept those leather pants... and-and the tangerine scented shampoo with oil extracts... and those cute jeans with the zippers that I'm STILL waiting on (don't forget, Target half price off, big guy. That place really helps you and your wallet. Just a tip, just a tip...). Anyway, PLEASE just PLEASE make me stop having these dreams about Arez... and PLEASE don't make this moment any worse...
"Arez, I am not Mohammad! I-I can't see the future or anything! It's not those kind of dreams!"
Meanwhile...
Ryuichi was surprised when Touma clung to and fell over from his sudden hug.
"YOU CAN'T HATE ME AND HUG ME AT THE SAME TIME, IDIOT!!! IT'S AGAINST THE LAWS OF HATE! ... AND HUGS!"
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Post by bluebirdspride on Feb 20, 2007 1:31:36 GMT -6
"SHUT UP BEAR-BUNNY FREAK! IT'S LIKE THE KISS OF DEATH! MIKA'S GONNA STEAK YOU TO DEATH FOR UPSETTING HER BROTHER AND FIANCE!" Touma cried. He would have pimp-slapped Ryuichi but wasn't wearing the right pimp-gloves.
--
Joey awoke and stretched. He glanced around the common room through sleepy eyes, shocked to find Carrie gone. He scowled. His boyfriend was acting weird again; his anti-gum laws were shockingly random. Getting to his feet he headed out of the room and towards the grounds, following the red-pinkie string. Joey soon found himself at the quidditch pitch. He felt the red-pinkie string untie itself.
Carrie was hugging someone wearing a MAID outfit. He growled and soon found himself storming over to them, eyes almost red with murderous intent.
Joey raised a hand, swiftly smacking them both at once, before turning to storm away again.
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Post by panic on Feb 20, 2007 1:40:56 GMT -6
Ryuichi patted Touma on the shoulder while wanting to bite his neck and tear out his jugular...
"Your wife's steaks don't scare me, Touma... Never have, never will..."
I HATE steak...
Meanwhile...
Carrie was about to push Arez off of him, when Joey came out of NOWHERE.
"JOEY, WAIT! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU TH-"
*SLAP*
Carrie sat stunned on the ground for a while, finally pushing Arez off of him and running after Joey.
Damn you, Lord! I willnever entrust another one of my prayers to you EVER!!! EVEEEER!!! I'll... just... e-mail them to Satan or... or something... YOU JUST LOST YOUR CHANCE, MISTER!"
"Joey, Joey come on, wait!"
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Post by bluebirdspride on Feb 20, 2007 1:55:18 GMT -6
Touma was shocked. "...Mika doesn't scare you?" He was so possitively amazed he fainted.
--
"Oh shit..." Arez muttered. The slap didn't hurt, but it looked like he had just made two new enemies.
Told you so. You should off yourself.
YOU started this!
I don't hug people at random. I'm not a complete idiot.
IT'S NOT MY FAULT!
Grow up. You're pathetic.
Arez growled, his fists clenching.
--
"You filthy het, go back to your wh0re!" Joey cried, brushing aside the tears in your eyes. "We're even, aren't we? Even Steven. AT LEAST TATSUHA WAS A MAN!"
Joey screamed the last sentence so loudly he was certain half the country would have heard it, but he didn't care. He was too jealous... too guilty... too needy.
"I said I'm not gonna leave you, right? So leave me!" he added in a bitter hiss.
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Post by panic on Feb 20, 2007 2:05:11 GMT -6
"Touma? Touma? Toooumaaaa... Hellooooo, Touma...? Touma, I can't move... f**k BEANS!"
Ryuichi growled, attempting to shove Touma off. Finally, murder glinting in his normally innocent eyes, he slapped Touma across the face.
"WAKE UP, NAAAAAANCY!!! YOUR BREAK IS OVER AND IT'S TIME TO GET BACK TO WORK LIKE THE REST OF THE LITTLE GIRLS!"
He slapped him across the face for good measure again, and just because he felt like it.
"YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY!! I'VE NEVER BEEN THIS ANGRY IN MY LIFE!!! GOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE REAL REASON THAT STUPID BAND BROKE UP!! BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID SELFISH ... SELFISHNESS!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! AH AHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!! YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS, YOU NANCING DISGRACEFUL WOMANIZER!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Meanwhile...
Carrie winced as Joey screamed at him.
Da-uhm...
"No, no I wasn't cheating on you!" Carrie said desperately, grabbing Joey from behind and holding him against his chest.
"Arez, he-he was in a maid's outfit, I don't know why, and I told him he was in my dreams and he thought I was Mohammad and-and hugged me! I swear, we weren't doing anything!"
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Post by bluebirdspride on Feb 20, 2007 2:13:19 GMT -6
Touma; KO'd.
--
Arez; contemplating "offing himself" and/or getting a hair-cut.
--
Joey struggled free from Carrie's arms, rage still crushing him like a giant fist. He suddenly froze.
"...wait, Arez?" Joey repeated, half-way between anger and rage still. He took in several long, deep breaths before turning around and throwing his arms around Carrie, burying his face against him. "Sorry... but you have the right."
Joey struggled not to laugh. "Arez... the maid?"
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Post by panic on Feb 20, 2007 20:59:37 GMT -6
Okay, Lord. We're cool. THIS time...
Carrie mouthed thank you to the sky and glared at Joey.
"He voodooed me... It's not my fault... I don't know why he was in a maid's outfit... Stop laughing at me... He was in MY head, not yours! This is why you GET to laugh..."
Meanwhile...
Drastic measures had to be taken now. Summoning all of his rage and anger towards Touma, compressing it, and putting it in his lungs, Ryuichi started screaming.
"YUKI!!! YUKI, YOUR BROTHER IN LAW WON'T GET OFF OF ME!!! YUKI, HELP ME!! YUKI!!!! YUKI YUKI!!! YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKI!!!!! YUKI YUKI YUKI YUKI!!!!!"
Eh, Kumagorou, I gave it my best Shindou-voice. Let's hope he hears us.
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Post by bluebirdspride on Feb 20, 2007 22:51:59 GMT -6
Touma; still KO'd.
--
Arez turned around slowly, eyes widening at the sight before him. "No! Daddy's trying to rape Mommy!" he shrieked. "Wait, why's Mommy's voice weird? It's like a chicken being strangled... OR MOLESTED BY A PIMP WHO CALLS HIMSELF MY DADDY!"
--
Joey tried and failed to suppress his giggles. "I don't think he "voodooed" you. Most people would call that a "nightmare" or "premonition"."
Silence.
"...wait, so you ARE Mohammad?"
--
"Shut up..." Yuki murmured up in his office, dozing at his desk. "Back in the chains, brat..."
Wait a minute.
Why was Touma suddenly molesting HIS lover and cackling evilly?
Yuki was so horrified he snapped awake, kinky dream becoming today's keyword - NIGHTMARE!
"...what the hell?"
He needed a smoke.
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Post by panic on Feb 20, 2007 23:07:05 GMT -6
Exasperatedly. "Yes, I AM Mohammad. Almighty Mohammad Carrie. My powers stretch far and wide, seeing into the future of everyone. My power ranks from the eyes of an innocent child, to the wise and respected old man. The Heterosexuals know me as Crack A' Lackin' Carrie, the Seer of Truth. To the Homosexuals I am He-Who-Shall-Be-Known-As-Sexy-And-Oh-Yeah-He-Has-Some-Power-Thingies-But-I-Was-Blinded-By-His-Sexiness-And-Rendered-Incoherent-For-Some-Time. And to the Bisexuals, I am All of the Above and More. Carrie Almighty has SPOKEN."
Meanwhile...
Ryuichi pulled out tufts of grass and sprinkled them in Touma's hair.
"You're a toehead, Touma. Touma, the Toehead. But now you're Touma the Toehead with GRASS clippings, na no da... Yes, Touma the Toehead with GRASS clippings... How does that make you feel, huh? Not very good right... Yuki will come down here and GRASS will be in your hair... I would be MOST embarrassed... Sucker."
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Post by bluebirdspride on Feb 20, 2007 23:24:46 GMT -6
Touma can't get it up. ...I mean, he can't get up. 'Cos he's KO'd.
--
Arez glared. "Hey! You're ignoring me! What kinda Mommy are you? You don't ignore your kids, that's like, law 1! If you ignore 'em they end up homicidal and kill 239 people! Or as a disembodied soul stuck in someone else!"
--
Joey didn't know for sure. He had to ask. "...are you being sarcastic or just spazz?"
--
Some kind of force (known as Pride) was pulling Yuki towards the quidditc pitch. He walked straight past Gay Couple #1 and towards the maid and two bodies. He momentarily wondered if Shuichi "Cosplay Boy" Shindou would wear one, but dismissed it as he recognised a KO'd Touma lying on Sakuma.
"...Sakuma, Mika's gonna be even more pissed off at you now."
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Post by panic on Feb 20, 2007 23:38:14 GMT -6
Carrie looked at Joey seriously, his brow furrowed.
"No, I'm being completely serious right now."
Meanwhile...
Ryuichi frowned at Arez.
"Arez, I am not your mommy. In fact-"
He was cut off by Yuki (who never looked more like a hero at this moment) come to save him.
YAY!
...Or come to ... tell him... how pissed off... Mika... would be... at ... him...
Oh...
"Hey, I didn't do this, okay? He did it to himself. He-he just walzted down here like he OWNED MY Quidditch Pitch and started speaking in 3's... and-and exclamation points... and-and air commas... Then he started calling me 'Mommy' and then he said it was MY fault that Tatsuha was ignoring me, and BE-LIIIIEVE you me, Eiri Yuki, I could care less, then he started going on and on and on about how he loves you etc etc etc, then he started yelling at me AND hugging me, which TOTALLY breaks the rules of Hate n' Hug! So you will forgive me if I seem a bit SHORT TEMPERED at the moment. NA NO DA."
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Post by bluebirdspride on Feb 20, 2007 23:48:43 GMT -6
Touma; stirred slightly at the mention of his "future lover".
--
Arez; sulking in the corner whilst "Mommy and Daddy are speaking".
--
Joey; grinning weirdly.
--
Yuki looked slightly surprised. VERY slightly. For a nanosecond. "Tatsuha actually did what I said?"
He shoved Touma off his lover's idol/look-a-like (which was, indeed, the only reason Yuki tolerated him) with his foot, resisting the urge to get in a few free hits.
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Post by panic on Feb 21, 2007 0:09:01 GMT -6
Ryuichi stood up, brow knitted together in frustration.
"I don't know, I don't care. All I know is THAT," he indicated, pointing to Touma. "Needs a life, or a serious talk with you, AND I need an aspirin."
He muttered to himself, getting out some crayons and a pad of paper. He drew some exaggerated shapes on the paper, which meant something he intended on finding out later, and slapped the pad closed with a snap.
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Post by bluebirdspride on Feb 21, 2007 2:14:10 GMT -6
Yuki rolled his eyes. The things he did (in a twisted way) for Shuichi.
"Fine. If I could talk some sense into otouto, I can handle Seguchi," he announced coolly. He grabbed the KO'd blonde's pimp-coat and dragged him from the field roughly, muttering about brats and "those chains".
Arez watched him go, eyes wide and starry. "He's sooo cool! He's actually cool! HE'S COOL! REALLY COOL! UBER COOL! MEGA COOL! TOTALLY COOL! SO DAMN COOL!"
...and if thee shalt smite the leader of r-tards, I shalt declare eternal faith to the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
...
...
WHERE'S MY F*CKING SMITING, YOU LIGHTNING-AS$HOLE?
Haha, God likes me better!
"...SO AMAZINGLY SUPER-ULTRA-UBER COOL! COOOOOOOOOOL! I'M ALL ABOUT PROFESSOR YUKI!"
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